When will you look at me?
by Phxren
Summary: [ HIATUS ] Misaki has been through a lot. The death of his parents and his brother, moving far away from him and Haruhiko, Akihiko's brother has an eye on Misaki. The young boy is distancing himself from everyone due to school and his part-time job, which causes him to build up a big amount of stress. But Akihiko becomes impatient and thinks Misaki doesn't want him anymore...
1. Just a nightmare

**\- Friday 6 pm, Misaki's pov -**

Finally, college had ended for this week. I still had a pile of homework to finish, which was due on Tuesday next week. I would have said "yahoo, it's the weekend!" but I still had my part-time job Saturday morning and my homework to finish. I didn't really mind, since I was saving up for a present to give to Usagi for our two-year anniversary. I had already saved up half the amount I needed, which made me even more motivated to work hard. I grinned and scratched my cheek. I'm sure he'll love it.

I stretched whilst making my way to the front door, which was surprisingly unlocked. I walked in to see Usagi lying on the couch, reading a BL manga. Usagi is such a pervert. When Usagi looked up from over his manga, he didn't even move. Usually he'd jump right up and hug me and tell me he needs his "Misaki refill," but lately, he's been surprisingly calm. Or rather, careless. I shook off that thought and dropped my bag on the floor next to Usagi.

'How's your manuscript going?' I asked, grabbing the apron from the coat rack in the hallway. I had been telling Usagi that it's a weird place to put an apron, but he wanted it there; and so it's been hanging there ever since. I tightened the apron, still waiting for the author's reply and opened a cabinet just above me.

'Finished.' It became silent again. His answers were shorter than his temper, which somehow worried me. But once again, I shook it off and continued on making pasta for tonight's dinner.

Once I had set the tables, I took off my apron and sat down at the same time as Usagi. He thanked me for dinner and dug in. He seemed to be enjoying it, then again, he always does. Since he can't cook, I'm the one making dinner and often breakfast as well. Unfortunately due to my busy schedule, I rarely make breakfast anymore, and even dinner has been made less and less.

My phone went off, which made the silver-haired man agitated. I could read it off his face. I apologized and flipped it open, only to reveal the 30th text of Haruhiko today. I sighed and closed it again, putting it aside on the table and finished my dinner.

'Who was that? You seem to be getting a big number of texts these days.' I shrugged and took my heavy bag off the floor. 'Nobody,' I mumbled and made my way to our library. I set up my own desk in this room, it was quiet and had a good view. Since I'm attending college, I do need my own space to make my homework. After all, this is the last year before graduation.

I unpacked my bag and tucked my math books back in one of my drawers and left only my English book on the desk. I sat down and opened it. I needed to study. I didn't want to fail any subject. _I want to make Usagi proud._ He of course would be anyway. I wiggled the pen between my fingers and scribbled down some words. I didn't notice it was becoming later and later. I went from English to Science and from Science to Japanese. Before I knew it, it was 1 am and I was nodding off. My eyes became heavy, I hadn't been sleeping properly for a while. I yawned and slowly closed my eyes.

 **\- Third person pov -**

Usami finished typing an email to Aikawa, notifying her that the manuscipt was finished and would be sent to her by tomorrow. He finished downing his coffee and got off his chair. It seemed awfully quiet, and so Usami walked out of his room, into the bedroom. He didn't find Misaki there, which surprised him. Usually he would be asleep by now... Well, he would've told him if he were going to bed. Something along the lines of "I'm going to sleep, d-don't try anything perverted!" and he'd rush off to bed. But that wasn't the case. He scratched his head, wondering where the brat was; then walked into the library only to find him sleeping at his desk, peacefully. Usami could see the bags under the poor boy's eyes. He must've been studying hard. Usami slipped one of his arms under his legs and the other behind his back, and lifted him up. He carried him to the bedroom and slowly put him down. He looked so innocent... so pure. The author lusted him, somehow that innocent face had an impact on him. He was getting aroused. He put his right hand on Misaki's cheek and softly stroked him. But the older man didn't expect to hear Misaki talk in his sleep. He abruptly turned his head and started groaning.

 **\- Usagi's pov** -

I was quite surprised when Misaki suddenly jerked his head away. He was having a nightmare, seemingly. His facial expression changed from innocent and cute, to pain and sorrow.

'N-no, please. Don't.' My eyes widened, what was he dreaming about? I caressed his arm, trying to calm him down, but to no avail.

'Don't touch me like that.' I squinted, did anyone try to harass my Misaki? I was getting worried, or was I just overreacting? Maybe it's just a nightmare. I slowly moved my hand to his face once again, when suddenly a hand stopped me. I was startled by Misaki suddenly waking up and stopping me from touching him. He was sweating and tears rolled down his face. His eyes were big and he then slapped my hand away.

'Misaki, what's going on? You were having a nightmare,' I tried to come closer, but he backed away. It looked like he was still half asleep, he wasn't taking in the situation, and kept backing away.

'Don't, t-touch me.' It started to freak me out, so I grabbed both his shoulders and shook him. He blinked a few times and groaned. It seemed to have worked. He rubbed his eyes, then gave me a confused look.

'Usagi? What's wrong?' I opened my mouth, yet couldn't find the words. I placed my hand on his knee. I sighed and shook my head. Something must be up with Misaki, something that he's not telling me. He was never one to show his emotions, or to talk about his problems with me. Which generally makes me more concerned when something does happen.

I scooted over next to him and kissed his cheek.

'Sorry for waking you, please go back to sleep.'

'Y-you better not try-'

'I promise I won't. Just let me hold you.' The younger boy started blushing and shrugged.

'I- I guess that's alright.' I smiled at him, hoping he hasn't seen my concerned expression. Misaki lied down, facing his back towards me. I joined him and wrapped my arms around his small waist. _Has he lost weight?_ I shook it off and closed my eyes. _It was probably my imagination._


	2. Trust

**\- Saturday 8 am, Misaki's pov -**

My eyes stung as I slowly sat up, I was incredibly tired and my eyes were red. I wondered why. I turned to see Usagi lying next to me, hugging his pillow. He looks so innocent and cute... When he's asleep. I turned again, flipping my phone open when I noticed the time. _"8 am? I'm late!"_ I grabbed my clothes off the floor and rushed to the bathroom. I changed into the clean clothes and quickly brushed my teeth. My reflection in the mirror looked so different, as if I looked skinnier... _"Did I lose weight?"_ I sighed and went downstairs after grabbing my bag from our bedroom. Honestly I didn't want to work, I was horribly tired.

I locked the door behind me, picking up the pace. Only 10 minutes late and since I've never been late, they might let me off the hook this time. As I rushed through the empty streets, I nearly made it to the office. My vision became a bit blurry, I hadn't eaten and I was exhausted.

As I entered the building, I bumped into Ijuuin-sensei. 'Ah, I'm so sorry, I-' 'Misaki-kun? Are you alright?' I looked up, brushing the hair out of my face. 'Ijuuin-sensei? Huh, hm yeah I'm fine.' He looked at me with a confused expression. I wondered what's up...

'Misak-' 'Ah sorry Ijuuin-sensei, I'm late, I've gotta run!' And so I literally ran through the hallways towards the lift. I pressed the button and hopped in as soon as it opened. That's when I nearly bumped into someone I'd have never expected. Haruhiko. 'Uwaah! Haruhiko-san?!' The doors behind me closed. 'Ahh, Misaki-kun... It's good to see you again.' I felt a shiver down my spine. Usagi?

'H-hey, good morning.' 'You seem a bit pale, are you alright?' He raised an eyebrow. 'Yeah, I'm fine.' He bent over, the space between our faces closing in. I was now blushing fifty shades of red. He stopped just a few inches away, I felt his breath rolling over my lips. 'Has my brother done something to you? Does he even treat you well...' I took a step back, until my back hit the doors.

'H-he does take care of me, always! He'd never do anything bad to me.' I was still blushing. It felt like the ground was slipping away under my feet. A horrendous headache struck me as I was about to speak again. I grabbed my head and bent my knees. All I could do was look at the floor, I couldn't move. My eyes started to water.

'Snap out of it Misaki!' He got on his knees and places his hands on my shoulders. 'What's going on, are you sick?' He looked legit concerned. He then moved his hand towards my face, I jerked and slapped his hand away, slowly getting up. 'Don't touch... me?' My legs felt like spaghetti as I tried to hold onto something. I cringed. Everything was spinning. Was I sick? Or just lack of rest? My body was heavy and I couldn't seem to stand up straight anymore. I fell over, right into Haruhiko's arms. I wasn't exactly unconscious, but I wasn't conscious either. My eyes were too heavy to open and I couldn't move my body at all.

'Misaki?!' He held me closer, then slowly laid me down on the floor. Haruhiko took off his jacket and placed it under my head. He grabbed his phone, when suddenly the lights went out and the lift stopped moving. Somehow, I was scared. Not that I didn't trust Haruhiko, but what my boss would say! _"Would he fire me? No, no he wouldn't, right?"_

'Anyone there?! Hello?!' I heard Haruhiko trying to get attention. We were stuck, it was probably a blackout again... It's been happening quite a lot lately and this was most likely the fifth one this month. He got on his knees again and placed his hand on my forehead.

'You're burning up! You're sick. _Sigh_ , why do you even come to work when you're not well.' He grabbed his phone off the floor and flipped it open. 'No service? What is this, a horror film?' He sighed again. 'Sorry Misaki, we might be stuck here for a while.'

 **\- 9:30 am, Haruhiko's pov -**

I placed my hand on his, getting more and more worried. We were stuck between the fourth and the fifth floor, the least occupied floors of the entire building. They were basically the boss' assistant / store room. Unfortunately, most of our things are stored on the computer these days, and the assistant is on a holiday.

I looked at Misaki's porcelain looking face. It was smooth and I longed for it. _"I shouldn't take advantage of a sick kid..."_ I stroked his face. It was smooth as silk. I couldn't help but stare and wish he was mine. That damn Usami, he probably doesn't give him any love, or take care of him at all. He needs a real boyfriend, not my ridiculously lousy and perverted brother.

My thoughts wandered off as I suddenly heard Misaki groan and start panting. He needs medical help... Why doesn't my cellphone work right now?! I turned my face again and looked around for an emergency button or phone. None to be found. Damn that boss and his money-saving lifts. I got up and banged as hard as I could on the doors.

'ANYONE?! WE NEED HELP!' It stayed silent, there was probably no one around. That being said, Saturdays are indeed quiet. Most people would rather work a little longer during the weekdays, so they have the weekends off. I sat back down next to Misaki, placing my hand on his chest. His heartbeat was rather fast. Soon enough my hand wandered off down to the hem of his shirt.

The lift started moving, downwards. It seemed like it was being yanked down. But it stopped soon after. No luck I guess. I bent over Misaki and brushed loose strands of hair out of his face, I kissed his forehead. Oh how I wish he was mine. My hand wandered up his shirt, when suddenly the doors of the lift opened and the lights went back on. I jerked my hand back, looking back.

 **\- 10:00 am, third person pov -**

Unfortunately for Haruhiko, Usami was standing in the front, squinting his eyes. He saw what happened. Behind him were Aikawa and Ijuuin, both shocked. Aikawa covered her mouth, suppressing her gasp and Ijuuin-sensei just stood there, wide-eyed.

'Haruhiko-san?' Aikawa said, trying to calm her voice. Then when Haruhiko moved away from Misaki, they all jumped up.

'Misaki-kun?! What did you do to him?!' Usami said, immediately dashing forward, grabbing his brother by the collar and pushing him roughly against the wall.

'My my, we're getting violent now? I didn't do anything to dear Misaki-kun, he collapsed right into my arms. Besides, shouldn't you worry about Misaki-kun instead of harassing me?' Usami seemed to struggle to believe him, but he needed to be there for Misaki. Haruhiko fell on his knees and coughed. Usami turned and sat on one knee next to Misaki.

'He probably needs medical help.' Usami heard behind him. 'I'll go make a call now.' Aikawa rushed off, not wanting to be there anyway. Ijuuin-sensei walked in.

'It's probably not my place to say anything, but... Haruhiko, were you feeling him up?' Usami shot him a death glare. Haruhiko's expression seemed calm as he got back on his feet. He walked past Ijuuin-sensei and whispered something inaudible into his ear. It made Ijuuin-sensei pale and he also left, leaving the lovers alone in the lift.

 **\- 5:00 pm, Misaki's pov -**

I slowly opened my eyes, groaning as the light burned my eyes. As a reflex, I tried to cover my eyes, but instead, I slapped myself hard in the face. My muscles were weak. When my eyes had finally adjusted slightly to the light, I noticed some IV's in my arm. _"Hospital? Is it that serious?"_ I sat on the edge of the bed, groaning. I wanted sleep, but I wanted to see Usagi-san more.

Speaking about the devil, he suddenly barged into the room. 'Misaki?! Oh god, are you alright?' He rushed over to my side and pulled me in a hug. His left hand stroked the back of my head, which soothed me. I felt safe again. Safe and warm in my lover's arms. 'I- I'm fine.' Usagi was still stroking me and softly spoke into my ear.

'I was so worried... I- I saw you and Haruhiko and oh god...' I opened my eyes, _"Oh yeah... That happened. I vaguely remember. He touched me."_

'Usagi... I'm tired. What's going on?' We heard a door close behind us. It was the doctor.

'Erm, sorry to disturb you. Usagi, I got the results from the blood test.' He took a chair and sat down next to us. 'He has anemia, but that is probably not all. He is exhausting himself. Has he been stressed lately?' Usagi let go of Misaki and cleared his throat.

'He does have a lot of homework, and he has a part-time job on top of that.'

'I see, it might be a better idea to quit your job. Or at least take a long break, you need a lot of rest, Misaki.' I was about to say something, when the doctor continued. 'We did an MRI-scan as well, and we saw something in his brain. Not a disease, so calm down. It's got something to do with his emotions, his mental state. I'd like to have a talk with you later Misaki-kun. Alone.' I looked down, I wondered what he meant with that. And quit my job?! I needed the money...

'Thanks Nowaki, I appreciate your help a lot.' He nodded and with that, Nowaki-san left.

My headache reoccurred, it made me feel sick.

'So Misaki... Do you remember anything from when you were in that lift with him?' I jumped up, not expecting him to continue this subject. Usagi then placed his hand on my side. My body started shaking and my breathing was irregular.

'D-Don't,' my eyes widened as if I went into a shock. My heart-rate went mental. That's when the monitor made a lot of noise, probably in reaction to his heart-rate. Nowaki and two nurses came rushing in.

I slapped Usagi's hand away and got on my feet, ripping out my IV's, stumbling towards the door, when Nowaki grabbed me by the arm.

'Settle down Misaki, what's going on? Are you hurt?' I gasped for air, hyperventilating. I closed my eyes, Seeing images flash inside my head, memories maybe. Everything went dark and all I could hear was a man say

 _"Oh Misaki, you'll be mine one day. It will be me who's name you'll moan."_ A memory.

* * *

The story is going in a different direction! Nothing major, don't worry. Nothing serious either :)  
I hope you guys enjoyed this, as I'll now be off to bed. I have two more long days of work ahead before the weekend. - Nikki


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